Course You Can Malcolm: Saturday 25th March

This Saturday CYCM returns to the Main Stand Bar providing pre-match entertainment ahead of the FC Halifax Town home match – We’ve an Art Battle, live band and guest speaker.

This Saturday CYCM returns to the Main Stand Bar providing pre-match entertainment ahead of the FC Halifax Town home match. We’ve an Art Battle, live band and guest speaker. Doors open at 12 noon, get there early to avoid disappointment.

Over to you Malcolms…..


Edward Bulwer-Lytton probably thought of himself as a right old smarty pants, and not just because of the double-barrelled surname. The novelist, playwright and all round clever clogs first coined the phrase ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’ in 1863, an expression quoted smugly down the years by many a pacifistic wordsmith.

No doubt pleased with himself for coming up with such a profound statement, it would have counted for nish if someone had come at Eddie BL with a proper, flesh-obliterating blade, especially if all he had was a half-chewed biro held up feebly in defence.

Of course, here at CYCM we dream of a trouble-free world where children can frolic freely in the meadows, and clearly don’t condone such wanton violence. However, we’re not against a bit of aggro when the weaponry is at least on a level playing field. Paintbrush-based aggro to be precise, as this Saturday we’ll be having four brush-wielding artists fighting it out (in a non-violent manner, obv), courtesy of the hugely popular art event, Art Battle Manchester.



Not content with just one act for the day though, we’re mixing things up like Jackson Pollock scrambled colours, by combining the afore-mentioned paint-off with live music courtesy of indie band Stillia, and guest speakers talking to us about all things St. Pauli.

Hopefully that’s enough for you to have painted a mental image of the day and get you interested, but if all you can picture are little stick figures standing around doing nothing, read on to get a rich, natural, Pre-Raphaelite-esque image fixed squarely in your head…..

11:00 The Oddies arrive, ready to fill the blank canvas that is Broadhurst Park’s function room

11:30 The first touches are applied as the flags and banners go up, with bold reds juxtaposed next to stark whites and jet blacks

12:00 Doors open, and creative juices flow as our muse; you, dear reader (honest), arrives

12:45 St. Pauli talk – Our Sankt Pauli supporting guests discuss all things Boys in Brown related (not to be confused with Mrs. Brown’s Boys. Which is a completely different, and much worse, thing)

1:20 Art Battle – Four artists, four paintings, one winner

2:20 Stillia – Johnny Vegas’ fave band

3:00 The finishing touches are applied and the work of art that is a Saturday at Broadhurst Park is complete. Will it be a bit Edvard Munch or more Leonid Afremov? Well, hopefully the latter….

Art Fisticuffs

If you’re not familiar with Art Battle, then as you’ll find out, the premise is quite frankly, ace. It’s essentially live competitive painting, with ten artists painting while crowds of up to four hundred people circulate the action, watching as the paintings evolve over thirty minutes.

The crowd then vote on the best painting, with the victorious winner taking the spoils. It’s energetic, it’s raucous, and to be honest, it’s a privilege to have them put on a special, FC-related version for us this Saturday. Obviously we can’t fit ten artists and a crowd of four hundred in (just look at how attempts to put a general meeting on last April turned out), so we’ll be having four artists instead.

The winning painting will then be put up for auction, with half the proceeds going to the winning artist and the other half going to the Development Fund. The winning painting will then go up permanently in the ground, with the names of the winning artist and the winner of the auction proudly listed next to it.



Art Battle organiser John has this to say about the four artists in question:

Tony Husband Cartoonist. Tony is a high profile cartoonist with his work being featured in many publications from Private Eye to Playboy to The Times. He also did a regular slot in Red Issue towards the end of its existence. He has also illustrated a couple of emotional books about his dad having dementia and his son having drug addiction. Here’s some more info

Nathan Sassen Street Artist – Nathan is one of Manchester’s most active underground street artists

Lee Hartley Painter/Street Artist – Lee is from Withington and won Art Battle Mcr 9 recently at Gorilla

Beany Simner Tattooist – Beany is an incredible tattooist from North Manchester. She is great on canvas and on skin!

St. Helens Class

Now, it’s probably slightly (and for slightly, read ‘very’) unfair of me, but when I think of St. Helens and music, I just can’t get that jingle from the St. Helens Glass advert out of my head. St. Helens Glass (clap, clap) may have the class* when it comes to A rated uPVC, but most definitely not when it comes to music. A commercial ditty that burrows deep into the dark recesses of your mind, and refuses to leave? Nah, that’s just not music, Geoff. Luckily, there’s musically a lot more to the Lancashire/Merseyside town than a pithy TV refrain, and we have living, breathing proof in the form of the rather marvellous Stillia.



Signed to Manchester label Beautiful Noise, the four piece indie-rock band have been making waves and then some, with Radio 2 DJ Janice Long describing their forthcoming debut album as “the best debut I’ve heard since the La’s???.

If you’re not content with just taking Janice’s word though, bear in mind the video for their latest single ‘Let Me In’ has been directed by St. Helens’ most famous son, Johnny Vegas, who describes the lads as “the hardest working band in St. Helens???. And we’re not going to argue with Johnny. Are you?



Moston ist Braun-weiß

Anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-homophobic, anti-fascist: Hamburg based St. Pauli are a club of proud values; one which shares a similar ethos with a certain Moston-based outfit. So much so, back in 2010, and as part of their centenary celebrations, they invited FC to join in the party by playing an All Star XI at their Millerntor-Stadion.

With the links between the clubs clearly stretching back some way, it’s nice to have a couple of St. Pauli supporters come down and talk for us. Broadhurst Park may be no Reeperbahn (we try), but anyone of a skull and crossbones persuasion are always guaranteed a warm welcome when they come down, with this Saturday being no different.




And Finally….

We’ve been painfully aware of the difficulties people have trying to hear the turns and that dashingly handsome MC, when they’re stood at the back of the room. Unfortunately, most of the Oddies are pure rhubarb when it comes to sorting anything of a technical nature, and we’ve not been able to do anything about it between us. Fortunately, however, Kitman George is helping us out massively by getting his technical knowhow on the case, so come Saturday the sound should be much, much better, and we’ll all owe George a pint. Cheers George!

So this Saturday: expect art battles, live music, St. Pauli, and if you’re lucky, CYCM Stalwart Stu From The Bay could even be wearing his magic Cosmic Jeans. And if that doesn’t tempt you to come down, frankly, nothing will. For those who give themselves over to temptation though: see you there.

*Oh, and by the way St. Helens Glass, boasting you’ve got class is a fairly classless thing in itself to do, so perhaps you should keep schtum and wait for others to shower you with plaudits if you think you deserve it? I know you’re reading this. Thanks.

Just so you know: CYCM is held in the Main Stand bar. We’ll have two thirds of the room, but if you’ve just read all this and think it sounds bobbins, then one end of the room will be partitioned off so you can enjoy a pint in peace.

Once you’re in the ground, entrance to CYCM is free, just head to the Main Stand (through the turnstiles if you come after 1), but try and get there as early as possible (come in through the main entrance and up the stairs if you arrive before the turnstiles open), as we’re anticipating it’s going to get busy. So busy in fact, we’ll have hand stamps allowing you to get in and out as you please. We don’t want you not getting back in if you’ve popped out, as that’d just be cruel. And we don’t want that.