CYCM 22/02/14: Head-sticking it to The Man

Breadsticks are ace. I mean, really, really, life affirmingly ace. Firstly, they’re a tasty snack that can elevate a buffet from a soggy quiche horror show to a bread-based tour-de-force. Secondly (and more importantly), they have something that gives them infinitely more top (b)read points over their fellow finger foods: unlimited, multiple uses. Want to look like a vampire? Little pieces of breadsticks as teeth. Wacky alien antennae on your head? Breadsticks. Need those waxy ears of yours cleaning out? Yep, breadsticks.So I was momentarily disappointed when I found out this week’s turn at CYCM aren’t breadsticks, but a band by the name of Headsticks. I say momentarily; Headsticks are actually a rather smart folk-punk band, and will continue to entertain long after the last breadstick of the buffet has been scoffed.

Providing those grey, leaden Bury clouds don’t let us down in the week and spoil yet another match day, Ilkeston will be our guests this Saturday. Once the ref has given the game a thumbs up, which they are definitely going to do, one hundred percent, no shadow of a doubt, the day will take the following course:

10:30 The Oddies get up early, see it’s not raining and go and get the place set up without having to shake their coats dry

11:30 Mike Noodle doesn’t need to worry about keeping his food dry, because it deffo won’t be raining, meaning the veggie pizza and hot-dogs will arrive safely

12:00 Doors open

12:15 Dave Frilly doesn’t drive a race car, but if he did, he wouldn’t need to worry about putting on wet tyres when he picks up and delivers the tater ‘ash from Westwells

2:00 Taking You Round The Corner- lie after lie, but all the while dry

2:20 Headsticks- see below

3:00 Time to get out and support the shirts. Which you’ll be able to do because we’re thinking positively, aren’t we? Eh? EH?

3:45 Half-time and back to ours, where the only wet stuff will be the ales you’ll no doubt be supping

It’s always nice to feel wanted, and Headsticks have made us feel just that here at Malcolms. So eager to play for us they are, they’ve managed to squeeze us in despite having a gig in Stoke the very same day. If you want to know more about the band, I’ll refer you to their website, which has this to say: “Late summer 2012 saw the creation of Headsticks , and November the same year saw their first performance as a full on, hard hitting four piece band who immediately grabbed the attention of those assembled….anthemic choruses, barbed lyrics, and infectious melodies soon became the norm as the band began to gig prolifically???. Have a ganders for yourself here for more information. You can also buy their new single ‘You’re Killing Me America’, and keep up to date with their latest shenanigans on Facebook.

Whether they’re classed as alternative folk, punk folk or even confrontational folk, all we know is their lyrics are political and hard hitting, they put a damn fine show on, and they’re looking forward to coming to FC for the day. Which is pretty smart, when you think about it (and a big thanks also to Phil Strummercamp for helping us get them on).

Now I know I’ve banged on about the weather, but because of its all round, general rankness, we’ve got a shed load of prizes taking up valuable space. Hopefully we’ll be able to palm some of them off on you lucky punters though, when Taking You Round The Corner makes its long awaited/dreaded (delete as applicable) return. You’ll just need to pick out the one truth from the pulsating mass of lies and you’ll be quids in. Or prizes in, in this case.

We’ll also have Stu From The Bay back with his famous mega deals on his mega market stall. Books, old AFLs, t-shirts, hats; we’re talking Clayton Blackmore levels of mega here. Which as you all know, on the internationally recognised mega scale, is a very high level indeed.

So there you have it. We’ve got punk folk. We’ve got politics. We’ve got a quiz. We’ve got Clayton Blackmore-esque levels of mega-ness. There’ll even be some football along the way. But we definitely won’t have rain. Definitely. Maybe.

Nine left. There’s a faint whiff of giddiness in the air….