CYCM There's nothing so lonesome, so dull or so drear

Billy the Blacksmith
For the first time in his life
Goes home stone cold sober
To his darling wife
He goes into the kitchen
She says "You’re early my dear"??
And then he breaks down and tells her
That the pub’s got no beer.

It had to happen. The same amount of beer ordered, the same about of beer lugged up them flitcrofting stairs"¦and we’ve always out ordered you. We’ve always part prided ourselves on knowing your excesses and how to cater for it. We’ve come close a few times but we’ve always fought you off.

Yesterday the drunken blackguards scored their first away win of the season. Drinking the bar dry just on the stroke of half time. The odd-carriers devastation in defeat only slightly eased by seeing the devastation on the faces of those left gagging.

Grown men going to the bar, asking for beer, shown two empty freezers and still they say "Aww go on, give us a beer."?? How? We’re an alright club but we’ve not yet mastered the art of turning air into ale. We’ve tried.

The drunken blackguards had some serious drunken blackguardologists in the audience yesterday and the odd-carriers felt that we paid the price for fielding a league-cup-type squad against what was patently the best side the DBs could put out. We were a Twomower down and it showed.

Whereas the DBs had a full strength turn out from the Immoveables, Biggie Smalls and the YLs, the Hunts with added back up from ’Every sentence a fight’ Ross, John ’Ochey youth’ Keane, Micky ’fakorff’ O’Farrell, Stu ’One can go in rounds with John Earley because one knows ones limits’ Brennan, Wincer and the Prestwich Farrells and a whole other load of Malcomses regulars who regularly test their tonsils against the challenge the Oddies put before them.

It won’t happen again you shower of swilling beverage bucket sponges. Enjoy your one win because it’s the only one you’re ever going to get. You’ll be sorry you scored

It’s a marathon not a snicker you unlilly livered ironweeds, coming around here thinking you’re clever. We’ll see you all outside. Except it’ll be inside. And on the 26th of January against Rossendale in the cup. It’ll runneth over.

The bar raised £752.65 profit towards the cost of hiring the ground off the landlords. Our lovely, appreciated and adored beer, our cute, appreciated and admired bar, our will to keep this club boxing. This beautiful creature mustn’t die.

And how did the 65 pence get in there?

Unfraternally yours in defeat and taking it badly,

The CYCM odd-carriers.